What the F are Triggers and How To Train Your Calm
I’ll never forget the time when I was first educated on what a trigger was. I was in a mandated therapy appointment, post first manic episode, and the therapist asked me (in a tone I didn’t appreciate), “Well, what are your triggers?”
“What do you mean, what are my triggers? I don’t know what a trigger is— unless it’s on a gun.”
This therapy session was clearly off to an unproductive start. The therapist looked at me like I had three heads. I was becoming more triggered by talking about triggers. After a vague and non-descriptive explanation of what a trigger is by said therapist I abruptly responded, “Humans!”
“Humans trigger me! I’ve always felt that I don’t belong, I’ve tried my hardest to do everything that society finds socially acceptable, and now I am here, in your office, being told I’m bipolar.”
“Oh boy,” therapist responded, “I don’t think you’re understanding this.”
“That’s a fact,” I stated. “I feel I don’t understand anything anymore, but I do know that humans trigger me.”
At this point, I rolled my eyes, and then switched myself into auto-pilot mode in order to end “therapy” as quickly as possible. To say that I was a traumatized, unhealed human at this time in my life would be a grandiose understatement. The idea of a trigger however, stuck in my head. What the fuck is a trigger.
A quick Google search showed, ‘a trigger in psychology is a stimulus such as a smell, sound, or sight that triggers feelings of trauma. Triggers can cause a person to feel overwhelming sadness, anxiety, or panic.’ Technically humans can trigger you, but typically humans just make an already triggered person more triggered. The most important thing to know about triggers is that they show you the unhealed parts of yourself.
I stand by my claim that humans trigger me, however, I was the one allowing this. It is possible to train yourself to bring your chill back, once triggered. For me, it’s the breath. I have developed breathing techniques that I learned in Kundalini yoga to not only disguise the fact that I’m triggered, but to also remind me that I am a calm, stable human, and the only person who can take that away from me is myself. So, when there are loud noises and high tempers in an environment in which I am present. You better believe I am quietly doing breath work.
Overhead fluorescent lights trigger migraines for me. It took me years to realize that I am sensitive to this. I now adjust the lighting in my environments to as ambient and chill as possible. When I’m in an environment I can’t control, I have glasses with tint, or if it’s really bad, I bust out sunglasses.
Unwanted touch is a trigger for me. I have big round booty that has been pinched, grabbed and slapped without my permission throughout my life. I have developed my communication skills to combat unwanted touch. “Sir, I see that your hand is still on my shoulder and I would greatly appreciate it if it wasn’t.” Be direct, be clear and succinct. I find that standing up for myself brings me into my power. Do not let disrespectful humans steal your calm. Only I decide who has permission to touch my skin.
These are just a couple examples from the laundry list of triggers that I have. The important thing is training yourself to come back to calm once triggered. In sessions with my current therapist (whom I love and adore), I’ve learned the ‘calm place’ technique used in EMDR. This is simply thinking of a place you’ve been or experienced that is calming to you. When you’re triggered, you mentally go to this place.
If it’s possible, a quick walk outside while intentionally noticing the trees, the sky, any birds or animals around, will bring me back to calm.
Develop your own techniques to bring you back to a calm state. Remember, euthymia is the goal.
In the pursuit of happiness AND health,
Courtney