Strategies to Build Confidence in Your Mental Wellness

Confidence is important to me because for years I had none. I was so embarrassed by the fact that I couldn't trust my mind that I felt the need to remove myself from everyone that loved me, hoping that I would get to the bottom of bipolar disorder. The beauty is— I did; but it took a lot of trial/error and therefore, a lot of time. This is why I'm passionate about sharing my story; because when I was searching for resources, I felt there weren't many that I could identify with. Mental illness shows up differently for everyone. Your brain can become ill, the same as any other organ in the human body. There is no shame in this, yet I felt tremendous shame. The stigma is real, and I’m over it.

Here is a short list of strategies that I have developed to regain confidence in myself and my mental wellness.

Forgive yourself

At 31 I had to move back in with my parents. I once admitted this to a person who replied, "Wow, that sucks you had to move back in with your parents in your thirties." I used to carry a lot of shame surrounding that, but the truth is that nothing about that sucked. It was a saving grace for me to have a safe space to be utterly depressed in. Seeing how bad I was hurting them by the look on their faces every day was what motivated me to change. A lot of people do not have safety nets and safe places to go after they've had life-shattering events occur. I did, and I am forever grateful.

Declutter

I got rid of all the clutter in my life: clothes, shoes, documents, books— I Marie Kondo'd everything, and as I did, I began to feel lighter. My space felt better and began to flow.

Intention

I began setting intentions every day. As I made intentions for the day, I began making them for relationships, trips, and even meals. Living with intention feels so much better than flying by the seat of your pants, and eventually becomes your lifestyle. Every move I make, has purpose behind it.

Intuition

Intuition is your inner knowing. I develop mine by taking as much time as I need to process decisions and weigh possible outcomes. Lean in to your initial reactions, but expand your mind to recognize other options.

Transparency

I focus on being honest with everyone I care about. I live my truth.

Energy Sustainability

Identify the persons, places, or things that suck your energy. Also, identify the things that increase your energy. Do your best to surround yourself with the things that energize you.

Have the intelligence to not repeat past mistakes

If you do, it’s ok, just start back at step 1 with forgiving yourself.

Recognize your progress

When you’ve hit a milestone, be proud of yourself. I'm proud of my resiliency. I'm proud that I found the molecules that best balance my brain. I'm proud of myself for finding my voice after years of being silenced by the trauma of it all. I'm proud of myself for not giving up, even though I wanted to more times than I can count.

If you are in a dark place, know that just because you aren't where you want to be, doesn't mean you can't be there in the future. Do what you can to pick yourself up, analyze and exclude the toxic habits, and re-build. If you've lost yourself, dare to find yourself.

Yours in the dark,

Courtney