What's Up With Bipolar Disorder; a Brief on my Medication Battle
The above image was taken from an article that is regularly on the first page of every Google search I do regarding bipolar disorder (which is a lot). It was published on Huffpost and Psychology Today in 2017 and still ranks on the first page of Google. This shows how little information and resources there are on bipolar disorder for the people who live with it. Dr. Gitlin contributes, “Two years after an episode, 98 percent of Bipolar patients have no symptoms, but only about 60 percent have a decent quality of life. Bipolar disorder costs the nation $151 billion yearly, with 79 percent of these costs going to missed work days, disability, and lost productivity.” Dr. Post contributes, “Life in the U.S. is far more stressful than in Europe. In the U.S., the children of Bipolar parents fare worse than their European counterparts in every way. Just 3.8 percent of European children of Bipolar parents become Bipolar, themselves. In the U.S., the risk is quintupled, with 17.8 percent of the children of Bipolars becoming Bipolar. THE CHILDREN OF AMERICAN BIPOLARS ARE THREE TIMES AS LIKELY TO ATTEMPT SUICIDE AS THEIR EUROPEAN COUNTERPARTS AND FIVE TIMES AS LIKELY TO ABUSE ALCOHOL”
While I was reading the above article, an Ad for Trintellix, the medication I was taking when I became suicidal, popped up (see said image below). I was in a depressive episode after I’d lost my job and left a 6-year relationship—a life transition that would naturally cause a state of depression. My psychiatrist at the time assured me that Trintellix would help me; she went out of her way to call her drug rep to deliver more samples, as well as called my insurance company to have the drug approved. Even with insurance approval, Trintellix cost me $500 a month, which I paid because I was scared. SSRIs (antidepressants) can make certain people suicidal; I was one of these people. I considered taking an entire bottle of lithium that I had left over from a previous mediation cycle. I stared at it every evening. I was taking Trintellix, Depakote, and Seroquel. Seroquel caused me to gain 40 pounds in two months. I was fat and hopeless; my skin was broken out; when I wasn’t at work as a paralegal, I was sleeping. My OBGYN was the one who told me to get off all of these medications immediately after I broke down crying in her office.
I stopped all medications cold turkey—which is super dangerous. Luckily nothing bad happened to me from this. I began researching holistic and integrative resources and medications—I was desperate for a better way. Taking my health into my own hands and understanding my sensitivities did improve my condition. Ironically, I went back on to lithium, but at a lower dose—I haven’t had suicide ideation since. I have to get my blood drawn routinely and see a psychiatrist regularly to monitor the levels that work best for me as everyone is different.
I have since spoken to many people who have had positive experiences with the drugs I’ve listed above. I spoke to someone who can’t sleep or function well without their Trintellix, so it works for some people.
The medication battle is real, and it is a dangerous one.
